Thursday, June 16, 2011

Beauty and Trust

I sat tonight at the botanical garden with a beautiful friend, listening to a lovely singer-songwriter play.   Hawks and hummingbirds were in the audience.  The temperature released its oppressive stranglehold.  And I thought to myself, yep, all is right.

And I'm thinking about my own views on beauty.  I have seen more beauty in this world as I've slowed to look around this year than I have in a long time.  It's been refreshing, revitalizing, and renewed my capacity for wonder and enchantment.  However, I lose sight of what's around me at times.  I lost my feelings of gratitude and bliss for a couple of days--succumbing to fears, ancient defense mechanisms, and frustration with myself because of this.  Thankfully, I have been conscious enough of late to at least recognize when I lose consciousness.

Today's yoga theme was focused around the idea that every interaction we have is an opportunity to create a beautiful work of art--that we are able to create beauty in every moment, every shared expression, and in our poses, our conversation and our actions.  There are times when I'm feeling raw and exposed and I would like to simply hide from the world.  And I'm sure that my fellow humans would be happier if I did sometimes.  :)  However, I'm also recognizing that there is a generosity of spirit in those I surround myself with, and that fissures and flaws are allowed.  Who knew?

And I continue to think about what I project into the world.  I'm hoping it's mostly positive, but also know that there are times when I have some work to do.  I can't excuse myself, but I can continue to do the work necessary to bring myself back to right, so I can shine out what I believe instead of what I fear.
If I want to have an open heart, then...well, I need to keep it open in all circumstances.  I have an awfully easy time saying that I have courage when there aren't any situations in my life that demand it.  If I want authentic connections in my life?  Well, I'm going to have to let myself be seen.  We all are.  And, really, who would have it any other way?

I turned to my friend tonight as the sun was setting, highlighting the hawk's nest in the tree above us, and as a woman smiled and sang her heart, and I said, "we have a truly beautiful life."  And we do.  This is my truth.

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