Monday, May 28, 2012

Remembrance and Intentions

I'm afforded a week to sort and finish packing (the most fun part of the purging is done and now I'm down to minutiae and trying my damndest to make sure I don't throw some hugely important document away).  It's been a long year, but do you ever notice that despite the fact that you've been looking forward to something with great anticipation, when it arrives, it's like, "oh, shit, really?  Already?"  That's how I felt on the last day of school.  I remain so completely filled with love for the students I was lucky enough to spend time with this year...and the beautiful colleagues without whom I would most likely have lost myself in teen angst and exhaustion.  And, so, remembrance--that there is no present moment that I would wish away.  Easier said than done.  I wake each day with the intention of living in the present, pausing to notice beauty, promising myself I will choose my words carefully and move gently.  And I continue to work on being gentle with myself.  It's a constant struggle, but one that will prove to be a practice worth the effort in the long run.

I've decided that I need physical reminders to keep my intentions in the foreground:  a new tattoo is in order to help me with this effort.  I will wait till I arrive in my next destination, but I need a physical touchstone that will be with me always--  reminding me to live with love and not fear.  A tiny reminder on the pulse spot on the inside of my left wrist.

I'm enjoying these last weeks of yoga practice in studios that have become my physical reminders of living with love...with friends whose presence next to me on the mat can make my heart sing open.  I walked out of class last week and realized without a doubt, that as long as I could find respite in a yoga practice, I'd be able to find my way back home to myself and to love.  I carry it with me, but it sure gets buried sometimes without intentional actions.

I will continue to refine my intentions.  I will revise my routines to make space for them to live out loud.  And I remain steeped in gratitude for the presence of those around me who, with a simple smile, a tilt of a head, a laugh or a twinkle in their eye, can surface all that is good and true throughout.

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