Tonight at yoga, the instructor said: "And, if you find yourself caught up in your thoughts, just thank your mind and gently move past." And she reminded us that this has been a practice, an exercise for a long long time in human history--this process of swirling about in thinking, and trying to quiet our minds. I most often think of getting "caught up" as the time when I will be able to sit and quiet myself. However, it's the constant state of being caught up in snake-eating-tail thinking that most often makes me feel as if I'm not fully on top of my world.
I've been laid to waste by my own thinking this past week, and finally had the opportunity to just laugh at myself (and not in a mean way), let go of the need to "figure things out" (in quotes because, honestly, who ever does?).
From The Art of the Novel by Milan Kundera: "There would seem to be nothing more obvious, more tangible and palpable than the present moment. And yet it eludes us completely. All the sadness of life lies in that fact." I'm inclined to agree. I have few present moments that cause me much sadness at this point. If I let my mind move backward in time or try to project forward, there is mourning and there is fear (or a desire to cloyingly attempt to control outcomes) and neither of these states have any bearing on who and where I am at this moment. Forever catching up.