I have been grounded (read: on the ground, not in flight) since last Sunday, but I have been struggling to get my mind and body back in the same place all week. I told my meditation teacher this last week, and she said, "well, you're in the right place." I knew what she meant (that coming to class was a step in the right direction), but I thought, hmmm... maybe I am in the "right" place--maybe, sometimes, the present is an act of straddling many different spaces and knowing yourself well enough to know that these disparate spaces are where you are in the moment, and that you will re-align when you can. And that you will find moments of presence even though.
For now my mind is hopscotching ahead of me across the country. And in the spirit of randomness, and flitting between different realities, here are some things that have hopscotched across my mind in the last while:
[And I think the formatting weirdnesses below add to the theme, so...am going to just ask patience with these as you read. :)]
I read a post on huffingtonpost.com by Katelyn Klug: "30 Lessons You Learned After 20"--why I insist on reading through these lists, I have no idea beyond the fact that they are ubiquitous ("five ways to become happier"/ "ten things you should never do"/ "seventeen ways to escape orangutans" --note: this one hasn't been written yet, but I'm certain it will be...) but I digress. There were three items on Klug's list that I thought were worth sharing (and noting that these lessons will be re-learned as you enter your 40s and so on and so on and so on):
a. #4= "A person who often misinterprets good intentions probably doesn't have many good
intentions of their own."
[This one made me laugh out loud and realize that this pretty much summed up some confusing
interactions I've had in my life.]
b. #20= "Women who claim to get along better with men are trouble."
[There are two exceptions to this rule that I know of, but that's it.]
c. #9="Absence makes the heart grow independent."
[I have nothing pithy for this, but I do think there's something good here.]
I've just finished a book entitled Swimming at Night by Lucy Clarke. I checked it out from the library on a whim because keyword "Bali" came up with the title, and...it was an interesting journey.
Two quotes that struck me:
a. "Sometimes when people give you their opinions, they can end up becoming your own. I didn't
want that" (p. 50).
[I am still working on making sure that the voices in my head are truly mine.]
b. "People go traveling for two reasons: because they are searching for something, or because they
are running from something. For me, it's both" (p. 22).
[For me? It's letting go. It's leaning into possibility and into the recognition that there is not
much that we truly control. And, maybe, it is searching and running. Maybe that's fine too.]
There is a graffiti artist in town who has been stenciling "You will die." in various places along my walking routes. I was caught off guard for a moment by these, but realized that my immediate reaction yesterday when I read yet another of the postings, was to look up, to look around, and to appreciate how gorgeous the day was. If this response was not the artist's intent, I don't want to know.
I have a sense, though I may be wrong, that I will be more grounded once I'm back in motion for this next round of travel flurry. It's hard to overlook the fact that I have a bag packed full of black and grey outfits for four different climates and four different tasks, color-coded folders telling me what each of my different destinations requires, and that maybe, just maybe, when I land, my body and mind will join forces. Here's hoping. Bring on the plastic key cards and the moving walkways nearing their end. Game on.