Monday, September 12, 2011

Home

Home has never been a specific place for me.  It has been people, dogs, views, feeling-tones, emotions...but never a place.  I'm hugely domestic.  I love being in my own space.  I love making it feel like "me."  But at the core, the only thing that makes anyplace home is the feeling I have when I'm in it.

Home has included, in no particular order:
-a mesa in New Mexico with my dog Jack.  
-an alligator pine tree.  Same scenario.
-A kitchen with bright orange appliances as snow fell and Garrison Keillor talked.
-My car when the music is just right and I have a dog in the way back.
-A yoga studio with a friend, who feels like she's been in my life for so much longer.
-A voice on the phone who knows me better than I know myself.
-A cozy living room where I can curl up on a couch and cry if I need to, laugh if I want to, and all the time know that the people around me love me no matter what.
-My grandmother's kitchen.
-Homemade peach ice cream.
-Humid summer days.
-A tent by running water.
-Muffins and smoothies and Sunday morning conversation on the reservation.
-A forest service cabin in the woods with women I love.
-A back yard where stars shine brighter than city lights.
-My house when I have nothing left on my to-do list.
-The view out my bedroom window when I wake up in the morning.

I am, thankfully, in each of these scenarios.  At least I know I'm always present when I'm home. I think I may need to listen more closely to myself.  I need to listen to the times when I don't want to go "home."  And why.  I have been so grateful this year to finally, really, feel happy to arrive home...in many many spaces.



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